“The Wolf of Wall Street” – The name of the game, moving the money from the client’s pocket to your pocket.

Scorsese is a lot like Tarantino to me; I don’t like all the movies that everyone else seems to love. The last Scorsese movie I truly enjoyed was probably “Gangs of New York”, which I believe was also his first collaboration with DiCaprio. I’ve seen most of his other DiCaprio movies but none of them really grip me; they’re just long and seem to follow the same recipe of “riches to rags”. Sadly I didn’t feel like much was different with “The Wolf of Wall Street”, but it was definitely more entertaining than some of their other films.

If the movie made me feel anything, it’s that I’m glad I don’t deal with the stock market. I tend to say “enjoy fast-paced environments” on cover letters but there’s no way I’d survive in a pit. Of course this movie focuses on insider trading and illegal stock sales that wind up making the characters millionaires, when at first they barely had a pot to, you know, do stuff in. DiCaprio narrates the entire movie and sometimes breaks the 4th wall entirely, so in case you aren’t able to follow his visual spiral into drugs and bad, you’ll be able to listen to how poorly things are going. Honestly it just didn’t…do a whole lot that “Wall Street” didn’t do. In fact, I think DiCaprio’s character Jordan Belfort even mentions at one point that his idol was Gordon Gecko. So it’s your basic recipe of get-rick-quick schemes that go awry and then the awkward hour and a half of watching these characters struggle to hold on and survive, while continually shoving powder up their noses.

To it’s credit though, it wasn’t a “bad” movie, I did enjoy it. And by “enjoy” I mean that I wasn’t dying of boredom by the end as Scorcese’s movies tend to make me do. There are some excellent performances throughout the whole thing, namely by DiCaprio (who so far deserves the Oscar in my mind, but I haven’t watched all the movies yet), but also Matthew McConaughey who’s in the movie a whopping five minutes, Jonah Hill, Kyle Chandler, and Jean Dujardin. Jonah Hill especially dazzles, considering one of the first movies I ever saw him in was “Accepted” (which I still hold true to be an excellent flick), and is more than deserving of his Oscar nod. That’s the thing about Scorcese’s films, is that more than the cinematography or scenery, the acting is always impeccable so I’ve got to hand him that. Reading through the trivia I found out that the real Jordan Belfort was pretty happy with the outcome of the film, so that’s got to be a testament to some good film making.

Can’t say it would be bad to have a yacht though. I’m sure all of Scorcese’s cast members get one as a “Thank you.”

Honestly the strongest things to me that made it more “eh” than “awesome” were the constant drug use and T&A. I remember first realizing what separated PG-13 from R, and it just made me think that producers would watch a screener and say, “If we’re going to call this an R film, we need bucket loads of swearing and so many naked women you’d start to think it was normal.” Sadly Scorcese seems to have bought into this theory because most scenes contain one, if not both of these. A strong film should rely more on the story than naked bodies and drugs to entice viewers, but I’m not a ratings reader so who knows what drew people to see it. I don’t know, seems a lot of mobster movies these days contain these two things and they have a huge following, one that I’m not a part of, so I could be barking up the wrong tree. Oh well.

DIRECTOR’S CUT: Overall I was happy with the outcome and not sad that it took up three hours of my life. If it wins some statues, I won’t be disappointed.

FLICKCHART RATING: 694/2074

“21 Jump Street” – They’re too old for this shift.

So when did Tanning Chatum or whatever get funny? I saw this movie last night and it was absolutely hysterical. The fact that Jonah Hill had been trying for about five years to get this movie funded, scripted, and finally made really paid off for him. A great cast with some die-from-laughter dialogue blows some of the other recent comedies out of the water completely. And I’ve never even seen the show!

When I sat down to watch this I figured it was going to be a remake of the show compacted into an hour and a half movie. And replacing Johnny Depp with Jonah Hill, which seemed a bit unfair. But having never seen the original before, I didn’t really have a clue what the story was about anyway. Normally I’d say that I’m glad I went in with really low expectations because the movie was that much better. This is not the case here, because I like Jonah Hill and even Channing Tatum was pretty good in “G.I. Joe”. Thank God for whatever expectations I had, because there were very few moments where I wasn’t smiling or laughing.

So instead of being an actual remake to the original series, Hill’s version winds up being a modern day sequel. They even use this as a joke by saying that the police force is dredging up an old undercover operation from the 80’s, and hoping that nobody will notice. It’s the jokes like that which kept the whole film very fresh; lightly hinting at the outdated-ness of the original series while basically running through the same scenarios. The film immediately pairs Hill and Tatum together, first showing them as rivals in high school (Tatum being the jock and Hill the Eminem looking nerd), and then flashing forward seven years to when they both graduate the Police Academy and are best buds. During their first drug bust as bike cops, they forget to read the perp his Miranda Rights and are therefore punished by the captain. Their punishment? Sent down to work undercover, on 21 Jump Street.

“Where do we report to?”
“Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street… wait, that doesn’t sound right.”

Their first (and really only) assignment is to infiltrate the same high school they both went to seven years ago, and uncover a drug ring that recently got a student killed. It’s a new synthetic drug called HFS; I’ll let the movie tell you why. Naturally Tatum has been enrolled in classes that involve little thinking whereas Hill is signed up for all of the smart ones, and together they’ll figure out who’s dealing and who’s supplying. But within minutes of their first day they manage to mix up their identities and are forced to begin attending each other’s courses. This is actually what I liked most about the film, as I was just expecting it to be a montage of “hilarity ensues”, with both characters feeling extremely out of place to the point that they decide they need another course of action. Luckily the movie and script played off this and turned it into a major plot push, basically giving Hill a second chance at being cool in school, and Tatum the opportunity to learn what he was too busy ignoring the first time around. This winds up causing issues while they’re undercover and the plot develops very well because of it. And for once, a movie did a pretty good job describing what it’s like to be a high school student, especially when people start calling out Tatum for clearly being way too old for school.

It really is a great ride, from start to finish and if you aren’t laughing the whole way through then it’s probably time to find a new genre. Props to Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum for both being a part of this movie, and especially to Hill for pursuing it as a project for so long. Every year the discussion comes up of, “Should there be an Oscar for comedies?” and I definitely think that “21 Jump Street” deserves a nomination.

We’re like, in the end of “Die Hard” right now, only it’s our actual life!

DIRECTOR’S CUT: If you haven’t gathered it yet, I clearly enjoyed this movie. Definitely see it whether you’re a fan of the original or not. Everything is great, even Rob Riggle, and I generally don’t like him at all.

FLICKCHART RATING: 192/1888